How a writer can get you to bed

What makes writing good? Well... I tend to say that I am a terrible writer with a good story, so it writes itself and I then have to go back, and correct my own mistakes. So what do I know? But I am certain that it's not enough to have a story and patience to write it all down, even though these are hard. You must keep your readers alert. Interested. Biting their nails. Laughing. Crying. And so on. 

A woman reading in bed; painting by Fabian Perez

How? Well, the story must be good, but you need to portray it with the right attitude, I believe. And paint the picture of a place, a setting, and introduce the characters, telling the reader what's happening in their heads. To me, the major difference lies in details. Look at that:

The cellar was dark and smelled unpleasantly. The rows of jars stood on the shelves, and there was a coal chamber to the left. Emily was scared; she only wanted to grab a jam and run away. 

Now try this:

The lights in the cellar flickered slightly; the narrow room was dark and long, blurry shadows spreading everywhere. The omnipresent smell was slightly chocking, bringing to mind  a picture of a rotten corpse. In truth, it was mould and humidity, mixed with old wood and coal, the latter stored in the black pit to the left. But the nose-wrinkling scent, combined with rows of jars standing neatly on the shelves, made Emily think of a crazy scientist's lab. She almost expected the jars to hold human heads, with their eyes wide open. The very thought was ridiculous, but petrifying. She wanted to grab the strawberry jam her mother asked for, and run the hell away from there, locking the main door to make sure no monsters would follow. 

I mean, right? It's like the difference between a court hearing and a house party: you replace dry facts with a moist testimony. Guess which one gets you to bed, cuddling together...